Doubting Thomas


St Thomas I admit that yesterday, when I had a moment  to regroup, I had a moment of doubt. As I sat in my home office working on a project in the solace and quietude of my home I thought about going back to school. What if I am making the biggest mistake of my life? What if this isn’t for me? What if I have trouble keeping up? What if, what if, what if…

Doing as I normally do when I have any moments of panic in my life I e-mailed my best friend (Queen Bee) at work and vented my dramatic ‘moment’ to her. Being the amazing woman she is she wrote back with a list of replies to all of my questions and doubts, telling me just what I needed to hear. She told me that change is scary for us all and although it is easy to let it cripple you from taking the steps you contemplate in your life, you should not let it. Change is SCARY. She is so right. When we contemplate the life changes we think about implementing in our lives we do let fear cripple us. We let it take away the bravery that we once felt as 5 yr old toddlers. We let it snatch away the dreams that we have harbored for years, even decades.

Queen Bee (you really should get to know her sometime) went on to answer each and every one of my questions:

What if I hate it?  Then you stop and you evaluate why you hate it.

What if I really hate it? Then you quit and realize that although you tried it just was not for you and you are now closer to realizing what path you want to take.

What if I’ve made a stupid decision? Pursuit of higher education is NEVER a stupid decision.

She then attached a photograph of a gift I sent to her last year from Fun  Cards on ETSY:

dream big

For those of you having a doubting Thomas moment please read the words of the wise Queen Bee above and take them to heart. Realize that you can do this, whatever it is, you can do it.

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One Response to “Doubting Thomas”

  1. 1
    Queen Bee says:

    I heart you so very much!! Thanks for sharing that, because I’m sure there is someone else out there who is fearful of making a change, due to how scary change is. However, life is not stagnant…. and honestly a stagnant life isn’t worth living! Life is about changing and growing. While we are fearful of it, always remember your support system. If they think you are making a positive change and support you, then they are there with you (emotionally, spiritually, in support) every step of the way. You are never truly alone and your support system is there to help!

    You gave me this same pep talk when I began looking at law school. Although my law school dreams are deferred again, I will continue that pursuit one day, and pose the same “What Ifs” back to you, and I know you will be able to reassure me with a good, “When I went to grad school, I felt the same way…”

    Life is about challenging ourselves and pursuing happiness. You are smart, determined, and savvy. You can do anything you put your mind to, I know it.

    Unless we are talking med school…. I might have to talk you out of that one!!! haha 😉


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