I would like to apologize to my readers for the tone of my blog lately. I will not apologize for myself because I am who God made me and I endure as I can but I would like to thank those of you who stick with my posts as they track my life – every piece of it. I don’t try to hide the fact that I have battled with depression, that until late was staved off by my ambitions to pursue graduate school but when I made the choice not to attend the only school that accepted me for the coming school year I lost something. I felt that I had failed and added to a long list of self perceived failures it slowly began to eat away at me until I rolled over.
You may remember a few days ago that I said I had asked for a sign from God, a signal to point me in the right direction with my life. Well a very large sign came to me and while it wasn’t one that pushed me to pursue a particular career or move out of state it was a sign that urged me to first help myself. My sign, which came in the form of a very special person told me to “ Love yourself…you are worth it!” and that is exactly what I intend to do. I am taking steps to love myself, allow myself the mistakes that I have made in life and forgive myself the things I just haven’t been able to let go of in the past. I am making my plan to take care of me first and foremost. Part of this plan includes blossoming my writing hobby, releasing creative parts of me that have disappeared over the years I have spent worrying only about getting bills paid and where I am going to be five years from now. I also intend on feeding my hunger for books. Books have proven to be my sanctuary from technology, from stress, from disappointment and only temporarily – from myself. A few of the books I have consumed in the last few weeks that i highly recommend:
Of all of these my favorite is a toss up between the last three, I know it’s not fair to say all three but honestly they all hold aspects that appeal to various parts of me. If you’re looking for something to read give one of them a try!
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