Bravery


bnwBrave New World is one of my all time favorite books, that along with 1984 and pretty much anything on the summer school reading list – I know, I’m a dork. That said, I wanted to take a moment to talk about bravery today.

As we live our lives as young children bravery means daring yourself to climb the stairs in the dark or run to the bathroom when you wake up in the middle of the night even though there are monsters abound. As we grow up and realize that the monsters out there are far worse than those which we imagine hiding under our beds we shift our irrational fear of the gooey green googley eyed monster to other demons, which may or may not prove to be irrational. The difference between childhood and adult fears are miles between for the most part, however, both force us to really steel ourselves for what we expect to come.

My mom and I have not always seen eye to eye but as we have aged our relationship has grown to that of siblings as opposed to the mother daughter relationship we never particularly had and as such I can recognize her bravery today with pride. Over the past few weeks as I have been staying with my parents to prepare the house for family arriving for Christmas I have seen the worst of the fallout as a result of my dad’s unemployment since the end of February last year. Each and every day my dad, more defeated than before, applies to numerous jobs, no longer even holding hope that he will be looked at as a potential candidate. Watching him go through this cycle is heartbreaking because he is a talented man, he has always provided for his four children and his wife and now as time slips away he is being overlooked due to his age. With each day that passes bills pile up and more recently the notification of an increase in health insurance premiums because the gap insurance is no longer active.  With knowledge that something must be done my mom, the same mom who has MS which on some days leaves her debilitated and confused, signed up for a four week long training course to become a CNA.

I can’t begin to fathom the fear that my mom must be feeling as she faces returning to the work force after not having been employed for over twenty years let alone doing it with MS and yet she did it. Unable to offer anything in terms of financial support to my parents I am left as an onlooker as every night I pray to God that something will turn up for my Dad and put on a facade of excitement for my mom as she sets out on this new endeavor. Today we picked up a second pair of scrubs for mom and she seemed excited about it but I know at the same time that she must be scared to death and feeling very much like the new kid in school.

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4 Responses to “Bravery”

  1. 1

    Yes. That is bravery!

    I’m looking in and I can feel the heartstrings tug to tears at such a hard time your parents are going through. I pray they’ll be given the strength and grace to push through and that soon your father will find something.

    I whisper a prayer for your family. *HUGS*
    .-= JamericanSpice´s last blog ..WW: I want to blow my own bubbles! =-.

  2. 2
    mommyknows says:

    I hope something turns up for your dad soon.

    Your mom sounds VERY brave.

    I have MS too. I try to keep stress to a minimum.
    .-= mommyknows´s last blog ..@KraftFoods – Holiday Gift Basket Giveaway =-.

    • Amy says:

      Thank you Kim, she really is brave and we all worry that working again is going to be too much for her but we will hope it is not and if it is then we will figure out another option…something akin to communal living perhaps…or perhaps not LOL.
      I tried to encourage her to blog but she is not a tech type of person, hopefully in time she will come around to it though!


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