Day Three of Project Me


NutNot too long ago I realized that I had come head to head with an old acquaintance of mine – depression. I went from my cheery self to someone who was all consumed by a deep, dark feeling of dread and not only was it not like the me that I know and aim to be, but it was incredibly painful. Waking up to a dark cloud leaves you not wanting to get out of bed, and while I did, I went through the motions without actually feeling. So I made the decision to put myself back on an anti-depressant that I know well, one that got me through life after the loss of my Granddad – Prozac.

Today is day three of this new project that I have titled “project me”. I am on a journey to find myself again before I became lost forever. I know a lot of people who will say that the drugs do more harm than good, that they’re just a crutch but for me they work and until those people have walked a mile in my shoes I think they should keep their smart comments to themselves.

So why am I sharing something so personal with you? Because I know there are a lot of people out there like me, who fall headlong in to that stuffy headed feeling, that “oh please God not another day” or the”I just can’t do it anymore” or the “I’m not worth it” or the “I can’t do anything” or the “I’m useless”…they go on and on but the truth of the matter is that they’re all background noise trying to drown you out. All of these things are just sneaky little bastards that claw their way in to your mind and stick their clutches in you and sometimes, at least for me, it takes a little help to rip those buggers off. Don’t be ashamed, don’t be afraid, if you need the help ask for it because tomorrow really isn’t as bad as it seems.

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One Response to “Day Three of Project Me”

  1. 1
    Queen Bee says:

    As a person who hates pills and medications and shies away from them always, I was the first to reach out for medicinal help when depression began to overwhelm me. I don’t intend to be on them for the rest of my life, but will use them as long as I need to in order to live and feel “normal”, to feel “level” instead of feeling like I’m alone in the middle of a dark ocean.

    I think anyone who has gotten to the point where they think life may not be worth living should take meds. Immediately. They allow you to think clearly and see that life is okay. Maybe not great, but for sure ‘okay’. And when you experience your first laugh or smile or happy moment after beginning a helpful anti-depressant, you wonder why you ever thought about not taking one in the first place.

    🙂
    .-= Queen Bee´s last blog ..I Had a Bad Day =-.


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