I Lied!


PeacefulRemember the other day how I listed some things that I had learned while being in Florida? Well I lied about one of them. I said that I had learned that I don’t need to go workout to be happy. This is a complete lie. As I see an old school acquaintance updating her Facebook page with her yoga and running endeavors I find myself jealous. Yeah, that’s sad I suppose but rather than say “rather you than me” like many people I know would do, I find myself saying “wow, I really wish I’d done that instead of sleep in”. I need to get moving again. I have had a long period of sedentary living over these past couple of months down here in Florida disguised under the excuse of “well I need to have some relaxing me time, I need to figure things out”. Well now I need to get back in balance, get this creaky body moving again and suck it all up and move on. My personal crisis is not over yet and I have a feeling it won’t be for a while but that said, really, who cares anymore. It’s time to get moving, to take a chance and if it doesn’t work out…well, then it doesn’t work out. As my best friend told me yesterday “if you don’t like working out ‘in the real world’ then you go back to working at home, we’ll figure it out”. I was a tad upset that this hadn’t come from Buzz as well since his response to my “what if I hate it” was “I dunno.” He is disappointed in me I think, disappointed that I don’t want to keep slaving away as a ‘self employed’ woman with the freedom to do anything I want as long as it is on sale. Me? Sure I will be sad not to be able to do what I want whenever I want and it causes me a lot of anxiety and conflict to turn away from it but at almost 30 years old I can’t keep skating by on just making the bills and renting a townhouse that STILL hasn’t had it’s old carpets replaced after two more months. I need something more, I deserve something more and I’m going for it the only way I know how. Good, old fashioned, hard work.

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