Red as a Lobster


orange sunI don’t sunbathe. My skin is pale, we’re talking alabaster white here, and any attempt to sunbathe results in a resemblance to a lobster that is certainly uncanny. The thing about Orlando at this time of year, however, is that you don’t have to sunbathe. You have to step out of your car, walk five feet to the store and stick-a-fork-in-you-you-are-done. No, I am not exaggerating, it really is that hot. My shoulders are now crispy, not just red – they were red days ago, today they are crispy. My eyes resemble a panda because I have enough sense to protect them from the sun in my ridiculously oversized sunglasses. My legs are still alabaster white because I forgot to bring sandals to wear with my skirts and shorts (no worries I spotted a pair today for $19 at Payless.) My thighs, boobs, back, neck and forehead are red and bumpy – yes, I have developed a nice prickly heat rash, the type of rash that leaves you too embarrassed to visit a hairdresser…particularly when your younger brother threatens to start screaming “OH MY GOD SHE’S GOT IT TOO!” while pointing and running away. Despite the rash I am feeling pretty good about the vitamin D that my skin is drinking in because I look ill when I maintain my alabaster white loveliness. Despite the sweltering heat there is something lovely about the bright hot rays that seep in to my skin for brief moments throughout the day. There is something sexy about a copper toned tan, the olive toned skin that I maintained as a youth from hours of playing outside while I watched my grandad garden. I would never want the shoe leather skin of the professional tanners down here but a little kiss from the sun now and again certainly brings the healthy glow back to the cheeks.

Everyone keeps asking me when I am going back to North Carolina. I pretend to ponder the question for a moment but always respond with “I don’t know.” It’s an honest reply because I really don’t  know. I came down here to be with my family but also to straighten out my head. To decide what I want to do, where I want to be, who I want to be. To be honest I’m no closer to the answer than when I came but I certainly am a nicer shade of tan.

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2 Responses to “Red as a Lobster”

  1. 1
    Queen Bee says:

    Stay as long as you need. There is nothing wrong with a working Sabbatical! Especially when it involves a summer break with much needed sunlight (needed for the soul) with the family you don’t get to see as often as you’d like, especially Nana.

    (I still miss you here in NC though!! 🙂 )

    I think you have beautifully, creamy white skin. I think you may need to buy a stylish floppy hat to wear. Don’t think Gardenin’ Granny — think Stylish JLo. I think it is the only way you may survive the sun!!


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