Run For Cover

pmsGo ahead and laugh…I dare you. Ladies, did you ever wake up just knowing that it’s one of those days where just about everyone under the sun is going to push your buttons? Or perhaps that it is PMS looking for a reason, any reason to slap someone just once. I’m fairly certain that a slap wouldn’t make me feel any better but occasionally I do wonder if it might help just a little bit. Probably not though. I have absolutely no reason (other than those dastardly hormones) to be in such a foul mood today and believe me when I tell you that I’m fighting it but there is only so much fight in me this morning. I am tired, I am cranky and I’m craving a bucket full of chocolate. I had hoped that an hour in the gym would help but I should have known better than that, it simply left me exhausted and moody.

On a separate note I suggested to Buzz yesterday that he might want to get me a ring for Christmas. The idea was not met with enthusiasm which – despite the fact that I was joking…well I was mostly joking because it would be nice to be more than someone’s girlfriend when I turn 30 years old…hurt my heart very briefly to realize that perhaps I will never get the dream wedding I always hoped for as a girl. Instead I worry that I’ll be the aging woman who gets married for the first time at 40 or 50 who everyone mutters “awww I’m glad she finally found someone” rather than “oohhh doesn’t she look gorgeous?” I don’t want to be the wrinkly old bride who is leaving behind a spinster lifestyle, I want to look gorgeous in my dress, I want my special day to be special. These are things I have always wanted for me, I never wanted to be an older bride. Okay so perhaps not feeling worthy enough of marriage may be adding to my bad mood today but honestly I am pretty sure that it’s just something to pinpoint my hormones on.

Now to quit whining and get on with work, those bills won’t pay themselves!

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2 Responses to “Run For Cover”

  1. 1
    Queen Bee says:

    I never thought I’d be divorced at 29.
    Maybe you won’t be an “older bride”.
    We have no idea what is in store for you.
    I love you.
    .-= Queen Bee´s last blog ..Transformation =-.

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