The Importance of Independence


beansAs I sit here eating my beans on toast in front of my laptop and savoring a Sunday alone while Buzz watches football at a buddy’s house I feel compelled to share a life lesson with you all. The life lesson is not mine per say but it is all of ours, at least 90% of women out there. The importance of independence.

From the time that we meet a significant other, married or not, the biological clock starts to kick in and we start to believe that we would be happy as “kept” women, raising children and cleaning house and the like. While for some of us this lifestyle suits us well and succeeds, very often this life choice backfires. The thing about depending on someone else and giving up your self is that you come to depend on the other person so much that when something happens to take that someone from your life you are left helpless and penniless. When I first met Buzz my idea of a happy life was to get married, be dependant on my man and raise the family I always wanted and yet it never happened. Through a variety of choices and challenges these things didn’t happen and now as I look back at my life I realize that I’m pretty glad that they didn’t. No, before you ask Buzz and I are not splitting but we did engage in a pretty heated debate the other week and in a brief passing moment I realized that even if I wanted to leave I had only the option to live with my parents again because I had given up my independence and my finances are tied to him as is my business. I thought of my best friend who, had she not been a career woman when she left her husband with her 4yr old daughter, would have been in the same boat. So many of us, women that is, give up our independence to tie in to a family and I’m not saying that it’s bad to be a housewife, but I am saying it’s bad not to have a skill to fall back on should you need it because divorce, death, infidelity, careers that force a move…these are all things which can force you to learn to stand on your own two feet in a heartbeat and it is far better to be prepared and never need a skill than to not have one at all.

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4 Responses to “The Importance of Independence”

  1. 1
    Queen Bee says:

    Women are known to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and do what has to be done to take care of themselves and more often, their kids.

    I think it’s very important to know that you can support yourself. This is one reason I will never stop working, barring winning the lottery. I learned this lesson at about 4 years old, watching my mother and my father separate. I watched my mother work a day job and a night job in order to support her three young daughters, ages 2, 4 and 6. I have no idea how she made it, but she did it for us. She was a great role model to learn from.

    • Amy says:

      We are women, hear us roar. It is definitely a womanly trait to be able to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and make it work rather than crawl back to family with our tail between our legs. Call it survival instinct 😉

  2. 2
    Tammi says:

    AMEN!
    100% agree – now why didn’t someone tell me this 9 years ago?
    ….
    sigh
    .-= Tammi´s last blog ..Baby’s First Phone Call Giveaway =-.

    • Amy says:

      It’s one of those things like learning to manage household finances and couponing that they don’t teach in school and really need to!


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