The When

calendarWhen I came down to Florida my return date was never in my mind. To be honest I still don’t know when it is that I’m going to go back home to North Carolina, I have even entertained the idea of picking up a part time job at a local store within walking distance of my parents house. I enjoy it here. I don’t want to go home to a house whose carpet still has not be replaced, whose ceiling still has a makeshift skylight, whose bathroom floor still is bare concrete and whose toilets still sound like they’re strapped with rocket boosters every time they flush. I feel trapped in that house. Here I feel ok. I feel okay to be me and I feel okay in the sunshine. I feel lighter and more independant. I feel less trapped.

Nana goes home on July 1st, my mum has asked me if I would stay and have a few weeks with her to run around and do our usual crazy shopping days. I told her I would stay. I told Buzz I was staying on longer. I don’t know what sudden brain clearing event I expected would happen down here but I do know that it hasn’t happened yet. I’m still as confused about it all as always but then again i’m not entirely sure what it is that I’m searching for.

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2 Responses to “The When”

  1. 1
    Queen Bee says:

    I wish clarity was easier to stumble upon
    .-= Queen Bee´s last blog .. =-.

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