A Writing Debut – Untitled

There’s a quiet hum in the air tonight, the kind of silence that makes a new mother nervous. Just the slow droning of the air conditioner preparing for it’s fitful night of sleep dares to rattle through the cotton padded night. My eyes grow heavy both from tears and sheer exhaustion and my brain, which retired hours ago, puts up an argument for a solid nights sleep. You see I saw her face again tonight; that angelic smile that foretold tragedy if only everyone had looked hard enough to see through it. She smiled at me two dimensionally and instinctively I smiled back even as the tears burned solidly down my cheeks. I smiled maniacally, staring at the hissing monitor. All that is missing is the smeared clown makeup and I’d look the perfect part. I can’t help but miss her. I find myself returning to this page night after night to see her face and in it I see myself and some days I just can’t take it because I know that she is screaming at me through her clenched teeth, demanding that I make some change lest I take the same path as she…I don’t want to talk about it. Read like fiction these words tumble from my fingers clumsily hitting the page, their meaning seemingly illusive and yet their structure sound enough to form the story I’m trying to tell. This ain’t fiction baby, this is me…this is her…this is us. Trying like your average Joe to make it through a life that wasn’t made for people like us but somehow we’ll do it. Hell, there ain’t no other choice.

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